I still mother them….

I didn’t really have a plan on this trip for the first time in my entire life. I’m a planner. I’m a list maker. I’m in an itinerary double checker. This time was different.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I had a direction. 😂

I wanted water. I wanted pretty. I wanted off the beaten path. I wanted lobster rolls and little towns and places we had never seen before. I wanted to wake up and decide where we were going next.

And somehow Connecticut became exactly what I didn’t know I needed.

We have driven roads we never would have found if we were trying to get somewhere fast. We’ve gotten off exits just because something sounded interesting. We’ve changed plans about 47 times. We’ve booked rooms as we went. We’ve sat in traffic. We’ve gotten lost. We’ve pulled into places that turned out to be absolutely nothing 😂 and then stumbled onto places that took my breath away.

And I think that’s been my favorite part.

There was Bear Mountain and those incredible views. Little overlooks and winding roads through mountains. The Walkway Over the Hudson. Then suddenly we were headed for the Connecticut shoreline because somewhere along the way I decided I needed a lobster roll. 😂

And just like that, the whole trip changed.

We found little beach towns. Woodmont. Milford. Madison. Guilford. Westbrook. Places I had heard of and places I hadn’t.

We stayed at a beautiful little bed and breakfast and woke up to a fabulous breakfast instead of an alarm telling us we had somewhere to be.

We found Hammonasset and a beach covered in shells and the prettiest pink sand. Moss-covered rocks. Water stretching forever. And one of the most beautiful sunsets I have seen in a very long time.

I sprinkled some of my babies there.

Then came Gillette Castle.

A castle sitting high above the Connecticut River that looks like it belongs in another world. We wandered around, took the ferry across the river, stood underneath this enormous old oak tree and I knew immediately.

Some of them needed to stay there too.

Because who wouldn’t want to stay under a giant oak tree beside a castle overlooking the river?

There has been cider and wine, bruschetta and lobster rolls. Ferry rides and castles. Little marinas. Beaches. Rivers. Mountains. Water everywhere I seem to need it.

There has been a lot of laughing.

A lot of “turn here.”

A lot of “where the hell are we?” 😂

A lot of me finding another place on the map and saying, “What about THIS?”

And Billy somehow continuing to drive.

Today we’re still wandering.

Shell Beach. Guilford. Stony Creek. The Thimble Islands. Tiny islands scattered through Long Island Sound, some with houses sitting all by themselves surrounded by water. More coastline. More shells. More places we’ve never seen.

No schedule.

No real itinerary.

Just following the water and seeing where it takes us.

Grief changes you in ways I don’t think anyone can understand until they live it. There are days when the weight of everything that has happened feels impossibly heavy. And then there are days when I remember that I am still here.

And being here means I still get to see beautiful things.

I still get to stand beside the ocean.

I still get to laugh until my stomach hurts.

I still get to eat a ridiculous amount of seafood.

I still get to get lost.

I still get to find places I didn’t know existed.

I still get to sprinkle pieces of the people I love in beautiful corners of this world and think, you would have loved this.

Maybe that’s why this trip has felt different.

We aren’t checking things off a list.

We’re just living.

Taking the ferry.

Stopping for the sunset.

Picking up shells.

Turning down the road that looks interesting.

Staying another day because we aren’t ready to go home yet.

I have spent a lot of my life believing that the world runs on the fuel of serendipity.

This trip has reminded me why.

Sometimes you don’t need to know exactly where you’re going.

Sometimes you just need to keep driving until something makes your heart say…

stop here.

Connecticut is soothing my 💜.