I still mother them….

Today I got a text from Dawn, a young lady I’ve been blessed to watch come into her own. She’s in Florida visiting her family, and she sent me pictures. Such a simple thing, sending someone a few pictures, but I wonder if she knows how much it meant to me to be on the receiving end. To be thought of. To get to see a little piece of her life and be included in her happiness. Those are the things that stay with me.

On Thursday, I went before the Board of Pardons in support of Matt. I get to stand up and talk in front of people pretty often, but this felt different. Being able to show up for someone, to be part of their journey and speak about the person they are today, means more than I can really explain. Thank you for being an example that addiction doesn’t always win. There are people rebuilding their lives every single day, and I am so grateful I get to know some of them.

Then today, Face the Facts took second place at Impact Life’s Trunk or Treat, and the ladies who live at the Farm took first. Those ladies rocked it! My favorite was the spooky fish market. It was a fun-filled day, and sometimes that’s exactly what we need—to get together, laugh, be a little ridiculous, and enjoy the people around us.

I talk in therapy about trying to fill all the little holes in my life, about needing to feel like I’m still needed. Losing my children has changed so much about how I move through the world. I can be having a beautiful day and still wish with everything in me that they were here to be part of it. That never leaves. But neither does my ability to love people, to be proud of them, or to feel grateful when they let me into their lives.

This week gave me so many reasons to be grateful. Dawn’s pictures. The opportunity to stand beside Matt. A day spent with people who bring so much heart and creativity to everything they do. None of them had to include me, and they did. I hope they know how much that matters. Sometimes, while you’re busy showing up for other people, they’re filling little holes in your heart, too.